Get Fit Friday: Remembering My "Why"s

Happy Friday! How was your week? Or month, I should say, since that's how long it's been since my last post...

Weight change since last GFF post: +0.9 pounds
Net weight change since starting GFF: +6.9 pounds

So, I'll start out with a couple of celebrations:
1) A weight gain of any amount usually isn't cause for celebration, but I'm celebrating it today. Why? My last weigh-in was four weeks ago. Since then, I've been to a Super Bowl party and gone out to eat several times (including a pizza buffet with my family on Valentine's Day). I've also been sick most of this week, which has made it difficult for me to exercise. The fact that I've only gained 0.9 pounds since then is pretty astounding to me.
2) In the last couple of weeks, I've become much more diligent when it comes to tracking my calories, and most days I've had a pretty easy time staying within my limits.

It hasn't been all good, though. I've actually been dealing with a lot of discouragement about my weight lately. Two weeks ago, I bought a cute workout top from Old Navy in my usual size, but when I put it on, it was waaaay too tight and made me look pregnant. I also haven't been able to work out as much as I would like. In addition to being sick, I started having some knee pain last week, so I decided to pull back a little. And of course, discovering that I've gained almost 7 pounds in the three months since starting GFF felt a little like getting punched in the gut. With being homebound the last few days, I've had some bouts of depression about life in general, but particularly when it comes to my weight.

To be honest, I've struggled with whether or not I should even write a GFF post this week. It feels a little hypocritical to write about losing weight and being healthy when I'm not practicing what I preach. But I know that if I give up on GFF, it'll become too easy to give up on other things, to the point where I'm not even trying to lose weight anymore, and I know I don't want to end up there.

I think this is a perfect opportunity to remind myself of what motivates me, since the scale is obviously not doing a good job of it. When I was on WW, they called it "remembering your 'why,'" and that seems as good a title as any for this week's post. These are the thoughts that tell me that putting in the effort to get healthy is worth it and will pay off eventually, even if the scale tells me otherwise.

Remembering My "Why"s

My body is not mine. It is a gift given to me by God to be stewarded wisely. That means treating it with care and respect. The Bible says that, for those who are in Christ, our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. I want my temple to be in perfect condition (or as close to perfect as it can be this side of heaven).

I want to grow old with my husband. T and I are a team. We support each other. We're also best friends. I'd rather hang out with him than with anyone else. Our married life has been a bit of an adventure so far, and I want to be healthy so we can enjoy the rest of it together. I don't want him having to be my caregiver when we're older; I want us to be co-adventurers.

My kids need a mom. I mentioned last time that I've been trying to make my diet as healthy as my kids', and that's been going pretty well. But there's so much more my kids need from me than just nutritious food. As a mom, I'm the voice in my kids' heads. Every day, I'm called to be teaching them and training them and comforting them and cheering them on and helping them figure out who they are. Especially being a mom to two girls, I'm their primary example of what it means to be a woman. I'm not the best mom in the world, not even close. But I'm the only mom my kids have, and they deserve to have one who's healthy and energetic enough to keep up with them and be there for them for a long, long time.

I want to break the cycle. I have a family history of diabetes, heart attacks, and other scary health conditions that are linked to being overweight. I want to do everything in my power to keep them from happening to me.

I want to thrive, not just survive. (Thanks, Switchfoot, for that lyric.) My 4-year-old has asked me a few times recently if I was happy, and the fact that she even feels the need to ask me that makes me sad. The truth is, hard as I try not to let it show, I haven't been truly happy with my life in a long time. It has nothing to do with any feelings toward my family or my career (or lack thereof...); it has everything to do with my emotional health, which I know is inextricably linked to my physical health.

For me, losing weight and getting healthy is not about looking good. It's about enjoying my life. My weight has held me back for most of my life. Not paying better attention to my health has kept me from becoming my best self. I'm reminded of Jesus' words in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." For too long, I've allowed the thief (Satan) to use my weight problems to steal, kill, and destroy the joy that is rightfully mine in Christ. I want to embrace the abundant life Jesus offers to those who have put their faith in him, and I think taking responsibility for my health is one way to do that.

So what about you? What are your "why"s? I'd love to hear about what motivates you. Have a great week!