How to Vacuum with a Toddler Around
Check cleaning schedule. Quietly pat self on back for having a cleaning schedule, even if you rarely stick to it. Find that today is "floors day." Immediately decide that it is only "vacuuming day" because you're going to vacuum all the hard floors instead of sweeping them. Try to convince yourself that you're being efficient, not lazy. Dig vacuum out of storage room. Knock over skeins of yarn that haven't been touched in months because you don't have time or energy for a hobby. Turn vacuum on. When child screams with excitement, pray that she will still be this excited about the vacuum by the time she is big enough to use it. Begin vacuuming. Child will decide that this is the perfect time to inspect the pretty lights and colors on the vacuum by standing directly in front of it. Turn off vacuum. Child will ask "all done?" Say "no" and ask child to move out from in front of vacuum. Proceed as planned. Move to hallway. T